DHS

A friend of mine was telling me about how DHS (Department of Human Services, not Department of Homeland Security; why there's two DHS's, I have no idea), was screwing her out of food-stamps.  Over the last eighteen months or so, DHS has been incorporating new rules and guidelines for those they dole out welfare-rations to.  Why they're allowed to change such rules without prior public notification is anyone's guess.  I have theories.  But sometimes silence is the best card to play.  That's a good rule for life, kids.  Allow me to elucidate.  If you had a bridge-card, you would be subjected to account reviews every six months.  This is not something DHS does, this is something they want you to do, and if you don't, you will experience a delay, or refusal (depending on their new bi-laws), of benefits.

Anyway, DHS screwed up my friend's paper-work, thereby decreasing the rate of monthly benefits from $180 to $59.

I'm not like most people.  I don't eat that much.  At most, I eat twice a day.  More than that leaves me feeling lethargic.  But to my friend, $59 doesn't last an entire month.  At most, it buys her two-weeks worth of groceries, and that's predicated on the stipulation that she only eats once a day.  Seriously, $40 buys me two weeks worth of food.  Once again, I don't eat that much.  But try living on less than $60 a month, I double-dare you.

My friend said she tried calling DHS, but the phone number never rang through.  Interesting side-note, the particular branch of social services handling her case is two counties over.  Why?  Because the government likes to make things as confusing as possible. 

So, my friend, a productive, working member of society, had her benefits cut due to a clerical error, and her case worker will not return her calls.

Perhaps, this a scenario you are all too familiar with. 

Do not distress.  There is one sure-fire way to get a DHS case-worker to call you back, 'though I only recommend it as a last resort.

About five years ago, I too applied for food-stamps.  At the time, I was working at a local sub-sandwich shop.  I won't say which, but I am a sandwich artisan.  When I was first hired, I was told by the manager, that, they thought someone was stealing, and they wanted new, trust-worthy employees.  I was hired on the spot.  Two-and-a-half months later (and before I could claim un-employment), I was fired for theft.  Apparently I was their culprit after all, though the thievery  transpired well before my employment.  I think the manager was the one to blame all along.  I, the unsuspecting patsy of corporate theft, could have fought such slanderous allegations, but fuck-it, it was Subway.  Who wants to work there for life?  Hopefully, not you.

Anyway, I too applied for food-stamps, and I too was given the run-around until the point where I wanted to just say, "The hell with it."  DHS dragged-ass on my benefits.  So, I called and left a rather nasty message, saying that I was starving and would soon resort to violent thievery.  Within twenty-four hours, my so-called-case-worker, called back with a snide retort.

He said, my benefits were disqualified because my previous employer wouldn't sign a piece of paper.  Of course, he wouldn't.  For two-straight weeks, I went in to my previous place of employment to get the boss-man to sign off on my paper-work.  But he wouldn't.  He was never there.  I left the forms.  But he never filled them out.  Why would he?  After all, I was the one he tried to frame.

In the end, I just said, "The hell with it," and got another job.  Then, I got a second job.  People, jobs are out there, they're just the ones nobody wants.  I don't know why.  The types of unemployment that seem the worst always pay the best.  I have a disgusting job, and it pays well.  Not as well as it could, but I digress.  I guess actual labor isn't worth the pay-off to some folks.

Anyway, the reason pissing off your DHS case-worker will guarantee a call-back, is because the people working there are the kind of people that love to rebuke anything you say.  Those folks are often mean-spirited and condescending.  A few years back, when me and my girlfriend started living together, her DHS case-worker wanted my personal financial information.  I wrote them a letter saying I refused to disclose any such information, because I was not the one seeking assistance.  I also wrote that, "I now consider this matter to be closed.  Any further attempt at collecting any financial or personal information will be construed as harassment, followed be legal action on my part."  Two days later the case-worker called, demanding to talk to me.  I reiterated my letter.  She said, "DHS is changing their rules.  Some people live with girlfriends, boyfriends, and baby-daddy's, trying to scam more benefits."  I held my tongue from responding to her slanderous insinuation that I was a, "baby-daddy."  Nor did I relay to her that neither me or my girlfriend had any children, nor were we planning to in the immediate future.

Yesterday, I bumped into my friend and asked if DHS had fixed her problem.  She said when she finally got ahold of her case-worker, the case-worker told her that it was not a mistake.  Her benefits had been decreased from $180 to $59 a month.  And she had to make due with that.  When she told me this, I pictured her  well-feed, government-compensated, case-worker with the receiver held up to a maniacal grin.

Sure, we're broke as hell, but do we really gotta be such assholes to each other just because the so-called-powers-that-be say it's our job?