Bright Ideas

Bright ideas are like snow flakes.  When we want them to descend upon us in a full-out maelstrom, they merely flutter about.  When our hands tied; then the deluge falls.  And each and every (bright) idea seems as uniquely crafted as semi-frozen globs of precipitation.

The other day, I was at one of those huge-mega-monolithic-superstores; back in the bottle-return department.  I go in the middle of a work-day, when it's far-less crowded.  Anyway, I'm there all of eight minutes.  I know, because I timed it.  I had to.  Technically, I was on my lunch-break.  But, is it technically a break if no lunch is involved?  Alas, I do not know.  But, I deviate.

The self-service-six-items-or-less-U-scan line was backed up all the way to the frozen food section.  If I had to guestimate, I'd say the line was fifty-foot long; the wait, undeterminable.  So, I ambulated down the rows of tightly packed consumers.  You know how there's certain huge-mega-super-cali-fragilistic stores that advertise:  If more than two people are standing in line, we'll open another?  Well, this wasn't one of them.  So, I walked all the way down to the last (open) lane.  Three people in front of me.  They had fully stocked carts.  I had two bottle-return coupons.  But, none of the other lines were moving, so I figured, "What the hell, I'm a patient guy -- sometimes."  I waited in line for fifteen minutes.  I know, because I checked the time on my cell-phone.  Technically, I had seven-minutes to return to work.

When I finally got to the cashier, I said, "You guys should really have one of those U-scan-bottle-deposit-return-machines back in the recycling area.  She said, "Most people go to the U-scans."  I replied, "Normally, I would."  Then I pointed out the U-scan line, far off in the distance, still backed up to the frozen-food section, still unmoving.  I told the cashier, "If there was a U-scan-bottle-return-slip-machine in the recycling area, then those with bottle-return slips wouldn't have to stand in line, and the lines wouldn't be so long.

Brow furrowed, bottom lip tucked up like a bulldog's, she grunted as if such a thought had never occurred to her.

Why would it?  After all, the longer we stand in line, the longer we're subjected to glossy magazine spreads, Clorox to-go sticks, the latest candy concoctions, and the more inclined we are to spend just a teensy bit more.

Still, I wish one of those mega-mart-super-whole-sale-stores would put a bottle-slip-return-machine in the actual recycling area.

I don't know much about meteorology, barometrics, or the crystallization process that makes each snowflake indelibly different from the next.  But having a bottle-slip-return-machine in the recycling area sounds like one hell of a bright idea to me.