Botox

Has anyone heard of this new super-Botox they discovered? 

Where do I begin?

First of all, these so-called scientists didn't just "discover" this new hybrid of clostridium botulinum.  Okay, right there, botulinum.  Doesn't that sound suspiciously like botulism?  If you don't know what botulism is, open a text book.  No, don't just Wikipedia that shit.  Apply yourselves, people.

The word Botox isn't a word at all, it's short for botulinum toxin.  That's right, toxin.  Botulinum toxin stems from a rod-shaped obligate anaerobe.  Oxygen is poisonous to its cells.  When oxygen is introduced, like say when you inject botulinum into your lips, the anaerobes catalyze a paralytic enzyme.  That's why you can't move your lips after a procedure.  This new Botox secretes a neurotoxin so powerful, the smallest of micrograms could...well, you've heard the news.

Botox originated when some guy you've never heard of but could easily research, tried to home-cure ham. 

Let's jump to the side for a second.  The reason pork is forbidden by those of Jewish faith and practices is because way-way-back-in-the-long-long-ago pork was virtually impossible to prepare without risk of falling ill.  And back then, when one grew sick they usually died. 

Back to the here-and-now.  After a time, those meddlesome scientists harnessed the power of those precious, precious anaerobes.  They derived a method of culturing clostridia in a TSC (tryptose sulfite cycloserine) environment with less than 2% oxygen.  Some mathematical, bio-chemical formula, where the Botox you shoot in your face is "relatively" harmless because it's fabricated in a laboratory, and studiously scrutinized with test and control experiments until the point they deem something that leaks paralytic perspirations as "safe for consumer consumption".

So, let me get this straight, scientists who've been tinkering at a molecular level with something they know secretes neurotoxins just haplessly stumble upon a super-deadly version of it?  And then, in order to keep people safe, they announce this discovery and declare it a world-wide secret?

People, open your eyes.  Something nefariously shady beyond my comprehension is a-foot.